| My first ever Xanga post. I couldn't sleep tonight. I decided to post some of my thoughts here on xanga. I realize tonight God holds my heart totally is in hand. He can do many things with my heart. He can totally crush it. God can tenderly prune and water it like a flower as well. He knows how my heart works better than even I do or my closest confidants. He knows what it needs. I guess it comes down to two factors then for me. How much do I trust God... and how much do I need him to punish me? How much do I need to be brought closer to him because I refuse to do it on my own. How comfortable am I with the world that I don't need to pay an inordinate amount of attention to him in general. He is life... he is everything. Have i ever acted like i actually know that??
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